


To See (Our Flaws)

by shipNslash



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Ableism, Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Human Disaster Jessica Jones, Human Disaster Matt Murdock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 15:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipNslash/pseuds/shipNslash
Summary: Jessica hates it when Matt plays blind. Maybe 'plays' is the wrong word. He is blind. But she hates when he lets it show.





	To See (Our Flaws)

Jessica hates it when Matt plays blind. Maybe 'plays' is the wrong word. He  _is_  blind. But she hates when he lets it show. 

~-~-~-~ 

"God damn parkour ninjas. Bull shit." Jessica stops from shipping container to shipping container, trying to find Murdock. He'd been right there a second ago.  _If the bastard learned how to take the sidewalk this wouldn't have happened._

 "Jessica." She hears him shout from up and to the right. With a sulk, she stomps over. Murdock is kneeling in front of an unconscious thug and digging through his pockets.

 "He give up the address?" She asks as she joins him. 

 He shakes his head with a chuckle. "Didn't get the chance. I'm hoping he wrote it down somewhere."

 "Wrote it down?" Jessica snorts. "Why would he write down the address to his super secret ninja headquarters? Check his phone."

 "Right." Murdock nods, plucking the phone up. He holds it awkwardly, like a grandparent or toddler would. After staring at it for a minute, he grunts in frustration and holds it out to her. "Here."

 His face is half hidden by the mask but Jessica can still see the unhappy tightening of his lips. He can never seem to tame his expressions -probably doesn't even think to, having not seen a facial expression in two decades- and Jessica knows that look. She wears it a lot too.  _Self-loathing is so last season._

 "Relax, Murdock. I'm a pro at breaking into these fuckers." She finds it soon and Matt nods gravely, like she's delivering a death sentence.

 ~-~-~-~

 But the fumbling? The bumping into clients' couches and tentatively feeling out diners' tables? It drives her nuts. 

 ~-~-~-~

 "Why do you do that?" She asks one day, after he almost knocks a cup off of the table. They're getting a  'we stopped a murder' midnight snack at a place Murdock has never been to because 'anything outside of Hell's Kitchen is a waste of my time'. 

 "Do what?" He sounds genuinely confused.

 "Suffer through the parts of being blind that you don't have to." Jessica has been told once or twice that she can be a little blunt- clearly, an understatement. 

 "I don't- it's- Mmm." He tugs his tie out of place so that he can readjust it. "I've spent years honing my senses. It takes a lot of concentration to sense an empty plastic cup sitting on a plastic table in a crowded, stuffy diner. Sometimes it's easier to just..." He gives a vague shrug and Jessica ignores him in favor of deciding what to order. 

 It's only after the waitress has taken their order and left does she realize that Murdock never touched his menu. 

 "I'll have the same." He'd said, even though Jessica had ordered waffles, mashed potatoes, and a beer.

 Well, not the beer... He doesn't have Jessica's crippling alcoholism after all _._

  _Self-conscious son of a bitch._ Jessica thinks, remembering to read it to him next time. 

 ~-~-~-~

 It's not like she minds helping him. It's just that he has the option to not be helpless and he doesn't take it and she just  _doesn't_  understand. She's spent her entire life trying to be  _less_  vulnerable and here he is clinging to her arm like a child when he could be beating her in a race.

 ~-~-~-~

 "Murdock, I wish you could see this bitch." She says one day as they're stretched out on a park bench. 

 "Which bi- one?" He asks, head tilting towards the crowd of women that's doing laps around the pond.

 "She's talking right now, about her son's natural affinity for the cello? Man, she's wearing a skin tight, full body pink track suit, right? Are you picturing it?"

 Matt -Murdock- laughs out loud, his whole face crinkling into something boyish and delighted. "I think I remember what pink looks like, yeah."

 "Good. So, her hair is done like, professionally, and she's wearing some fucking princess jewelry. Are they jogging to the opera?"

 He laughs again, dropping his cane so that he can clutch his sides. "I can literally smell the Botox from here." He starts to wheeze and Jessica joins in, cackling even louder when the women shoot them dirty looks.

 Eventually, Murdock nudges Jessica with his elbow. "Here comes our guy."

 Jessica waits for him to pick up his cane and latch onto her arm. As they start to follow their mark out of the park, Jessica sees the cluster of prep school moms coming back around for another lap.  

 "I wonder if that poor blind man knows that his nurse dresses like a street corner slut." If Jessica can hear it, Murdock can definitely hear it. She feels his hand tighten around her elbow and his cane falters in its dependable pat-pat-pat rhythm. 

 "Jessica, come on."  _What?_ Oh. She'd stopped walking.  _Right. Well._ She starts up again, focusing entirely on not losing their mark. Well, almost entirely. One of her fingers is focused on the women walking towards them. 

 There's an audible gasp of outrage and one of the women pauses right in front of her. "How dare you- oof!" 

 She and the seemingly helpless blind man both topple to the ground. He really is a good actor, his face has a look of confusion normally reserved for puppies. 

 "Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry!" He gushes, hand reaching out as if to check that she's okay. Instead of doing anything helpful though, he just manages to smear a streak of mud down her spotless track suit. 

 "Why I never!" The woman is up and stomping away, uselessly dabbing at the stain.

 Murdock -Matt- gives another one of his full bodied, face crinkling laughs and holds a hand out for Jessica to haul him to his feet. "You should have seen her face, man."

 "Why, Miss Jones, I can't see a damn thing."

 They catch up to their mark eventually, still laughing. 

 ~-~-~-~

 She thinks maybe she understands better, now that she's seen him in all aspects of his life. He uses his blindness like she uses alcohol, for an escape route. He uses it like she uses her girly voice and short stature, as a cover. He uses it like she uses her sarcasm and bad attitude, as a shield against the world. 

 ~-~-~-~

 "Hi, hey there, do you think we could use your bathroom?"

 Jessica has on her best 'trust me-trust me-trust me' voice and has traded out her leather jacket for one of Trish's blazers and looks semi respectable. Matt is wearing his lawyer get up and looks- well, he looks like a mess.

 His tie is crooked, his glasses are crooked, and his nose that's steadily dripping blood is very, very crooked. His ruffled hair makes him look innocent and his bloody tie that he's got pushed against his face with one hand to staunch the bleeding makes him look pathetic. His other hand is white knuckling his cane, held forward in plain view of the bank's receptionist.

 "Oh my god, of course!" The young woman jumps up and hustles them forward. Jessica pulls Matt along who looks equal parts dazed and embarrassed.

 "I'm so sorry, I'm normally very careful." Matt mutters weakly.

 "Oh honey, don't fret. What happened?"

 "I tripped going down the stairs. It's entirely my fault, I feel so silly."

 "No, sweetie. It's my fault. I should've been keeping a better eye out." Jessica coos out and almost laughs at the expression the receptionist makes. One part sympathy, one part adoration. Matt seems to get it a lot but it's a new one for her. 

 As the woman slips out of the bathroom, Jessica watches as helpless Matt slips away and is replaced by the man she knows. He quickly folds up his cane and tucks his glasses into his breast pocket. 

 "Air vent should get me all the way to the pent house, I think I can make it up there before the receptionist gets suspicious. Tell her I wandered off, I'll try and make it back to the ground floor without being seen."

 Jessica nods in understanding as Matt starts to unscrew the vent. "How's your nose?"

 "Hurts like a bitch. You don't need to hit me so hard next time."

 Jessica smiles into her scarf as he ninjas away.  _Cocky bastard._

  _~-~-~-~_

 She understands now, the way Foggy seamlessly treats Matt equal parts superhero and handicapped. He'll offer him an arm to cross a busy street during the day but throw him an unsheathed sword with confidence six hours later. ( _Seriously, fuck ninjas._ ) Karen and Claire do it too, to an extent, but no one else. Luke and Danny seem to forget he's blind all together. 

 ~-~-~-~

 "Matt, hit the switch!" Luke screams as he flings a grown man across the room. He and Danny are trying to slow down the incoming gang of ironically dressed mobsters while Jessica punches through computers at random.

 "I- which switch?" Matt is 'staring' at a bomb, gloves discarded as he manically runs his fingers over it. 

 "The one that will turn it off!" Danny yells back.

 Jessica sighs and punches the last computer with a vengeance. "He can't hear buttons, dick wads. Matt, toss it here."

 Matt tosses her the contraption like it's a game of hot potato and Jessica quickly flips the off switch. 

 "All done, losers. Someone's buying me a pizza for this."

 Matt still has a crease between his eyebrows, but his breathing is slowing in down and his cheeks are turning a bright red instead of a ghostly pale. 

 "Jessica, I-"

 "Pizza, devil boy."

 ~-~-~-~-~

 It's nice, to see Matt relax. He'll tuck his glasses into his pocket, he'll toss his cowl to the side and wipe his sweaty forehead, and suddenly it's a different person. 

 Jessica thinks that maybe she's that way too. She'll have a coffee that isn't spiked or exchange her leather jacket for a hoodie that Malcolm left in her apartment and the whole world feels different. 

 The two of them have a lot of baggage. And it feels good to shoulder that weight confidently sometimes. But other times, it can be crushing.

 Sometimes, the traumatized woman and the blind man just want to lay under the stars and relax. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for the read! This is my first posted work in over five years, so feed back is much appreciated!


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